Anger and Hurt: Help for Healing Both

Anger and hurt, they often go hand in hand. Sometimes the anger comes first. That kind of mad you’ll run over and over in your mind and wake up with. Stewing over all the righteous and clever things to say to the offender in return and then realize the flip side of that anger is hurt.  Simply put, our feelings are hurt.

We often wonder “Why now, why this week, why at all?” Did they just need to be right, prove a point? Our minds keep going over what good would it serve to confront them, just upset ourselves more? Hurt them back?  What is the right thing to do?

I’m not immune to this cycle of anger and pain and  I don’t know of anyone who is. When it happens to me I spend several hours relishing in the anger, working on my comeback through my mind. All along I know this isn’t right. I need to gain my composure. I ache from the inside out and make it worse on myself.

As a side note: that whole composure thing could be generational or a twisted coping mechanism I learned as a child. Either way, I’ve learned there are better ways to handle the anger and hurt.

Help for the Hurt

When I get this kind of anger and hurt I have to do some digging to begin recovery. Recovery, sounds serious, but feelings of anger and hurt do take some time to recover from. Some self-help book isn’t the answer and not an answer on how to gain composure.

I have been studying the Bible for some time. At first it was to see what it had to offer me. What can I get out of it to make my life better? What I’ve learned as I have read and studied, is that the Bible will teach me about God. His character, what He has to say about things. When I came to my senses and decided I wanted to move on from this roller coaster of emotions I went to the book.

How do you find what God has to say about anger or any topic? In this age of technology, there are plenty of handy tools. Since I am no Bible scholar I pull up my Bible App and typed in anger into the reading plans search bubble.  You can also search by words or phrases in the Bible search bubble as well.  To try it go to:

YouVersion Bible App Image

No experience necessary

There is beautiful thing about God’s Word, you do not have to be a  scholar to read and understand it. In your search for Him, He reveals what you need when you need it. Here are some of His words I found in that search:

Pro 29:11  A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds back.

James 1:19 Know this my beloved brothers let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Ex 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.

Joshua 23:8  but you shall cling to the Lord your God just as you have done to this day.

Ps 37: 4-5  Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of you heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act. 

Isa 41:10  fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will up hold you with my righteous right hand.

Read and Repeat Sometimes that Hurt Revisits us

I spent some time reading those verses and have had to again recently. The result;  God is working on my heart, a work in progress not completed.  He loves us and the people who hurt us. That may be the hardest part to understand. I do know  I want to be happy more than I want to be right.  Wait, I want to be filled with joy, not hurt.  Happiness can come and go.  Joyfulness can be sensed even in times of hurt. You have to decide for yourself which you want.

It is never easy. The anger and hurt will come back. You will revisit it again and again. The thing is, you have to let it go again and again until you are ready to work it out with those that hurt you or be done with it.   God really is good, and His word is true, and He and His Word is the balm that will calm an angry heart and heal a wounded one.